Motivational Blogs
VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL: 9 TIPS FOR LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
Here in this blog lets barge into valentine’s day, and understand importance of love, why problems in relationships, and 9 tips for your loving relationships.
I hope this will help you develop and maintain harmonious relationships.
History of Valentine Day
Valentine’s day originated in Roman after the name of Saint Valentine. This saint died on February 14th in the late 3rd century. It is believed that he helped couples get married. Originally this occasion started with the ritual to bless women and crops with more fertility as women give birth to life and crops give food for life. In the middle-ages, it was believed that birds paired into couples in mid-February. From the 18th century, it evolved into an occasion that is celebrated to show love and affection between romantic couples through the exchange of flowers, gifts, cards, etc.
Now let’s understand why God created love or what is the purpose of love?
Why God created Love?
Love is the only force behind the creation and continuity of life on Earth.
I believe love and affection are very important virtues of all humans, animals, and nature which have made life possible on this planet earth. Love is not only an emotion but something more powerful than that, our true nature, God’s Design of life. This is the only force behind our creation, behind the creation of this universe and the continuity of life.
The feeling of love and attraction with your mind, body, and soul, and with other humans, animals, plants, and the whole universe helps fulfill each other’s needs and wants, coexist, and thus help in the continuity of life.
But why we are witnessing so many problems in relationships? Let’s understand further.
What is the core reason for problems in relationships?
Loss of life energy is the core reason for problems in relationships.
Recently most of us have drifted away from our true nature of Love, Joy, and Happiness. We have forgotten to forgive, to let go, and have lost compassion for others. We are demanding more and giving less. Comparisons with others have become our habit in a relationship. This disconnects us not only from our loved ones but from our original self as well.
Why have we become like this? As we cling to negative experiences in relations, our mind keeps on analyzing our past experiences and based on those experiences fearing the same outcomes in the future. Overthinking has become the pattern of our lives which drains life energy in us.
Loss of energy leads to: –
- weakening our mind and body,
- makes us emotionally weak,
- reduces passion and desire in life,
- reduces our natural intelligence.
And slowly over a period this makes our attitude and behavior towards relationships and life negative. This even has a negative impact on our profession and money matters leading to more dullness in life and may even lead to the addition of alcohol and drugs as well. Instead of love and prosperity, we are now in deep pain and disarray.
After understanding the core reason of problems in relationships, let’s now understand it further, the importance of harmony in relationships.
Why harmony in relationships is important?
Relationships generate positive emotions in us. Emotions are nothing but energy in motion and they are fuel for our mind, body, and life. Once we are full of energy, we can fully enjoy every moment of life.
Even this has a very positive impact on our physical and mental health which: –
- enhances our focus,
- concentration span,
- and activates creativity.
This leads to peak performance in our career and profession leading to more name, fame, and money as well. It even enhances our joy and happiness quotient and once a person is happy, he/she starts helping others as well. So, good relationships truly magnify our life experiences and that is why harmony in relationships is so important.
So, it is our duty and responsibility to develop and maintain loving relationships for our own happiness, success, and growth. Check these 9 tips for loving relationships.
9 tips for loving relationships
So, as we have understood the importance of love, now we must understand how to bring back that love and maintain it for an amazing life.
Think over it…
“If we don’t know how to ride a ship changing the ship won’t work either”.
To drive a ship, you must understand and learn the science behind it, and practice riding the ship. In the same way, you must understand, learn, and practice the laws, principles, and formulas for harmonic relationships. The problems in relationships are nothing but the opportunity to learn and master your relationships.
This is what we can do-
1) Let’s train our minds to focus on these 3 things in a relationship.
- the positives in our relations. Remember every person including you has some positive and negative traits.
- the solutions rather than repenting the problem and
- focus only on what you want in a relationship and not to focus on what you don’t want in relations. Because whatever we focus upon, it expands in our life.
2) Give some space and freedom to each other.
Don’t over burden and keep on bothering other person with your demands. They have a personal life too.
Too much closeness also leads to boredom in relationships, and they will lose interest in you. So, give some space to bring back the lost zing.
Being overindulged in a relationship leads to loss of personal identity and every person in this world has a priority and that is self-love; their own needs and wants are the very backbone of life. And nothing is wrong with that, and it is only due to that priority, you are in his/her life. So, if they lose themselves, they will no longer want you either.
So, give them freedom and personal time for their other ventures of life as well like their physical health, mental health, hobbies, career, profession, etc. And demand the same for yourself. And if you don’t, soon your relationship is going to bear the consequences.
Therefore, you must not only give some space and time freedom but also help each other in other areas of their life for their personal growth and for enhancing harmony in your relationship.
3) Listen more and speak less.
Listen to the other person and try to understand them. Develop trust and make them so comfortable that they should speak out everything to you without any fear. This will help you in 4 ways.
- As you listen more, you will be able to understand them in a better way.
- Understanding them helps you to deal with them in a better way.
- Listening clears so many doubts, prejudice, and bias and breaks your habit of instant negative reactions and judgments. This clears your relationship space of so many unnecessary disputes and emotional eruptions.
- This will also develop patience in you, a very important trait for success in every area of life.
Once you allow others to speak, after a while they will also start listening to you. Slowly and steadily, this will open a two-way communication window leading to clear cut communication and once communication improves, 95% of problems are sorted out and the remaining 5% need acceptance.
4) Difference of opinion is inevitable.
#1 truth of life is that “people have varying degrees of mindset”. So, they have different perceptions and thus different opinions, this is inevitable in all relationships. That is why you must learn to accept, approve, and appreciate different perspectives instead of blame, and complain. This attitude will help you to understand and respect each other’s perspective and will enhance acceptance of each other and strengthen your bond.
5) Demand kills the relationship.
You should not demand what the other person is not capable of giving instead focus on giving what you can give to them. Give and take is the very backbone of relationships and relationships thrive upon giving. And the rule is “to get something you must give first and without any expectations”. Too many and unrealistic expectations kill relationships. Don’t compromise on your needs, or happiness, and break your limitations to fulfill related person demands for a simple reason i.e. happiness of both constitutes a harmonious relationship. Overall, both men and women must try to understand each other needs and try to fulfill them within their limitations.
6) Stop judging and start accepting.
Stop overanalyzing and judging your relationship, let your mind relax, and allow the universe to work for you. When the universe has given you life, it also has a plan for your life. Start accepting your related person as part of a universal plan. You just keep on doing your best for a good relationship and the universe will sort out everything at the right time and moment.
7) Don’t try to change or control the other person.
Again, as explained in point no 2, trying to change or control your related person makes them feel suffocated and they see it as a threat to their personal identity. And personal identity is their first love, and nobody wants to leave that. So, controlling is a big no and giving freedom is a big yes.
Now as far as the urge to change someone, you have the right to communicate your concerns about their behavior patterns, attitudes, or habits that you don’t like. But you must understand that it is very difficult to change habits and it may take time and will require your support and guidance of some professional also.
Communicate it once, twice, or thrice and don’t remind them again if it irritates them and they negatively respond every time. It means they don’t want to change. Instead of improving the relationship, it will worsen the relationship. Let go and leave it to the universe and accept them as they are. It’s a clear indication that the universe might have other plans and it wants you to learn patience and acceptance. It is now time to work upon the relationship with the most beautiful person in your life, i.e. you.
8) Men, please take care of the feelings and emotions of your women.
It means you should listen to them without interrupting and judging.
As women are more emotional compared to men, listening to women releases their negative emotions and makes them emotionally stable.
Also, remember that their negative feelings are temporary, they come fast and go fast and your listening acts as a catalyst.
Even remember that women have a habit of speaking, this is their natural way of venting out frustrations and stabilizing their emotions.
So, if you don’t listen, someone else will and that will become problematic in the future.
You don’t have to judge them and react negatively because that will create more emotional disturbance in women which will also disturb you leading to more problems in your relations.
So, an intelligent option is to just listen and be silent. I know it is difficult, but I am also sure that you will take it as a challenge and master it, and even women should practice this.
9) Women, please give significance, importance, and respect to your men.
I mean you should not try to compare your men with other men, and don’t keep on highlighting their failures. Remember one thing, no one is perfect, and every person fails in life in something or the other. You should instead remind them of their success stories and appreciate them. This will boost their confidence and enhance their performance. And disrespecting them in front of others is the greatest disconnector in relationships. I know this is challenging for women, but I am sure you will master it and even men should practice this.
Book Meet the Real You.
For an in-depth understanding of your mind, life, and relationships, you must read a comprehensive book on life named “MEET THE REAL YOU”. This will help in your personal growth, transformations, and thus harmonious relationships with self, other people, and the universe and thus succeed in life.
WISH YOU WONDERFUL HAPPY AND JOYOUS RELATIONS FOREVER…
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…
FROM THE DESK OF CHETAN BANSAL
